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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friendโ€™s sonโ€™s birthday and Amazon tells you itโ€™s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

Itโ€™s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Iโ€™m best man at my buddyโ€™s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with โ€œWelcome back everyoneโ€?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, Iโ€™d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. Thatโ€™s a beautiful hole.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but Iโ€™d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Facebook:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Making waves on YouTube:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs Iโ€™ve ever lost in my life.

Spotted on WeChat:

Iโ€™m sorry I said โ€œI look forward to working with youโ€ during our wedding vows.

Just shared via Slack:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Seen just now on X:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Spotted on Telegram:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone thatโ€™s in a bad mood.

Seen just now on Discord:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I am a fool everyday, I donโ€™t need a holiday for it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Who needs therapy when you can have a dose of adventure and a dragon to sort out your troubles? ๐Ÿ‰โœจ Who knew mythical creatures had healing powers too? ๐Ÿคฃ #DragonTherapy"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has bookmarked:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so Iโ€™m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Reported on YouTube:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Trending via Telegram:

Iโ€™m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Just landed via Messenger:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Just landed via Reddit:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Making waves on YouTube:

We can put a man on the moon but we canโ€™t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Just shared via Twitch:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

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