Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you can have an unlimited supply of ice cream instead? 🍦😂 Just think of all the heartbreak you'll save yourself from! #TeamIceCream"

advice, bad, fall, humor, love, relationships

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

0

3 days ago

accessory, around, carrying, dog, dogs, fashion, fashion accessory, humor, i, nostalgia, pet, pet accessory, purse, terrible, tiny, tiny dog, whatever, woman, women, wonder
Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, just, late, love, maybe, patience, relationship, schedule, soulmate
I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

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2 months ago

adult, choice, choices, humor, irony, kind, life, life choice, positive, responsibility, self-awareness
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

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1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision
Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

0

2 months ago

always, belief, fantasy, humor, individuality, magic, quirky, weirdo
I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

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2 months ago

candy, family, fight, floor, front, humor, husband, i, just, kids, parenting, pay, piece, throw, UFC, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

10 shares on Discord this month:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

31 shares on X this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

They expect me to work at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Spotted on Threads:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Just shared via YouTube:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Going viral on YouTube:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Just shared via YouTube:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨