Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Freshly posted on X:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Live now on Discord:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Just shared via Discord:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Trending via Instagram:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

Seen just now on WeChat:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Shared recently on Facebook:

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Witty text warning against falling in love with a humorous, playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs love when you can have an unlimited supply of ice cream instead? 🍦😂 Just think of all the heartbreak you'll save yourself from! #TeamIceCream"

, , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

54 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

42 shares on X this month:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

75 shares on X this month:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Trending via LinkedIn:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Spotted on Messenger:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Making waves on Instagram:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Breaking via WeChat:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Trending via Messenger:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Just shared via Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Going bananas on Discord:

Popping your head in the cockpit and saying, “Anywhere here will do, chief.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴