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Commentary:
"Ah, Monday – the perfect day to practice your Oscar-worthy whining and complain-tastic skills! 🙄 Remember to add in some extra melodramatic sighs for that special touch! 😂 #MondayBlues"

complain, forget, humor, Monday, motivation, stress, today, whine, workweek

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

1 month ago
being, compatibility, humor, irony, lesson, mean, relationship, socks, teach, together
I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

1 month ago
bruise, dating, funny observation, getting, getting laid, humor, laid, new, observation, relationship, self-deprecation
Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

1 month ago
alone, detox, digital, digital detox, everyone, humor, i, introvert, log, log off, need, right, time
My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

1 month ago
able, account, career, career goal, delete, detox, digital, digital detox, goal, humor, job, just, LinkedIn, media, online, online presence, point, presence, social, social media
My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

1 month ago
am, boss, employees, humor, i, idea, incompetent, irony, job, management, me, obvious, pretty, train, wants, workplace
All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

1 month ago
forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, password, poor, protection, security

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Spotted on TikTok:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Just landed via Snapchat:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Just landed via Reddit:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

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Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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