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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Just landed via X:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Just shared via Telegram:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Just shared via YouTube:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Spotted on WeChat:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Witty quote about fashion humorously warning against ruining a sundress with panties.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs extra layers when you've got the breeze as your personal AC? 🌬️😄🍑

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Telegram this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

41 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

23 shares on Slack this month:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Going viral on Discord:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Just landed via Instagram:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Seen just now on Slack:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Just landed via Slack:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Spotted on Messenger:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Making waves on Twitch:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Trending via Pinterest:

Friends with consequences.

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