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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Going bananas on Slack:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being single only sucks when you’re a little drunk and really want to flirt.

Spotted on YouTube:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Trending via Instagram:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Breaking via Reddit:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Double chins are better than double faces.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Double chins: making face-swapping selfies uncomfortable since whenever 😅👥 #ChinWins #OneFaceIsEnough"

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

0

2 months ago

fitness, gain, humor, new, new year, resolution, self-deprecation, thing, weight, year
Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

0

2 months ago

current, current events, dystopian, events, fiction, humor, media, needs, news, satire, watch
Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

0

2 months ago

breaking, humor, local, new, news, online, online purchase, purchase, shopping, surprise, unnecessary, woman
About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, four, humor, i, minutes, motivation, personality, procrastination, run, running, self-improvement, want, work
I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

0

2 months ago

cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent
Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

0

2 months ago

cold, deep, deep freeze, freeze, humor, ice-o-lation, winter, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Reddit this month:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

59 shares on Slack this month:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Making waves on Slack:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Going viral on Telegram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Going bananas on Discord:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Just landed via Slack:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Just landed via Discord:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Just shared via Reddit:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Double chins are better than double faces.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨