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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,260

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Just shared via X:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Seen just now on Threads:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Breaking via TikTok:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Breaking via X:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Double chins are better than double faces.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Double chins: making face-swapping selfies uncomfortable since whenever 😅👥 #ChinWins #OneFaceIsEnough"

better, body, body positivity, chin, double, double chin, double face, face, faces, humor, positivity, self-image

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

0

2 months ago

animal, baaaa, humor, joke, pun, sheep, walk, wordplay
Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

0

2 months ago

escape, escape room, frustration, hard, humor, joke, manager, me, office, office humor, room, work, workplace
Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

0

2 months ago

bar, bulb, change, funny moment, humor, i, joke, life, light, light bulb, moment, punchline, today
The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

0

2 months ago

always, best, fact, fairy, fairy tale, fiction, handsome, humor, intelligent, man, prince, proof, romance, single, tale
Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

0

2 months ago

buying, choice, dog, dogs, food, food choice, food regret, gas, gas station, gut, humor, me, regret, roller, roller dog, station, sushi, thanks, thing, tricks, trust
Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

0

2 months ago

accident, billboard, car, distraction, drive, driving, humor, irony, reading, safety, said, text, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sundays are no place for pants or responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Going viral on Threads:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Just shared via Messenger:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Trending via Snapchat:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Double chins are better than double faces.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨