Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  • I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?
  • My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.
  • I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.
  • I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.
  • The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.