Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Jan 6, 2026

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Just landed via Discord:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Spotted on WeChat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Freshly posted on Discord:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

2 months ago

0

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect activity for those who enjoy the thrill of sitting angrily in traffic jams 🚗💨. Who knew that combining two passions – sitting and fuming – could bring so much satisfaction on the road? It's all about finding joy in the little things, even if those things involve honking and road rage! 🤣 #DrivingAdventures"

activity, being, comedy, driving, frustration, great, humor, love, mad, sitting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

0

2 months ago

AirPods, audio, charged, different, ear, harder, headphones, humor, i, listen, rates, technology
If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

0

4 months ago

alive, communication, death, humor, kind, kind word, kindness, legacy, life, pass, people, say, should, want, word, words
Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily functions, functions, funny observation, getting, humor, i, message, observation, past, reflection, stare, throw, throw up, time
At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, bingo, fun, fun activity, game, meet, meet up, people, play, ready
Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

0

2 months ago

activity, comparison, eating, flying, food, food humor, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, joke, opposite, wings
My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

0

2 months ago

ability, buying, expenses, extravagant, getting, grocery, housing, humor, irony, lifestyle, money, paying, save, save money

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

25 shares on WeChat this month:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

51 shares on Discord this month:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

92 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

100 shares on X this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your pronouns should be get/help.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Cancel culture has been canceled.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,434

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Seen just now on Threads:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Making waves on Instagram:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Life is weird and then you die.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Breaking via Telegram:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴