Commentary:
Ah yes, nothing like curling up with a book for that smug sense of self-improvement 😏📚✨
126 Funny great quotes
Having a job is lowkey a great way to stay hydrated, ’cause you get so bored you start drinking water for fun.
Commentary:
Turning water into fun since hiring day! 💦😄 #StayHydrated
If a toddler puts a sticker on you, that’s a sign of great respect in their culture.
Commentary:
Getting stickered by a toddler is like receiving the highest honor from the kingdom of tiny humans 👶🏆😊
If a child draws a picture of you, it’s a sign of great respect in their culture.
Commentary:
When a kid draws me and I see a Picasso-level forehead: I'm flattered by the respect, but maybe my barber won't be. 😂🎨✨
Pyramid schemes are a great way to make new pals.
Commentary:
Joining a pyramid scheme: making friends one awkward family gathering at a time! 😂💸🤝
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?
Commentary:
As an amateur carpenter, I can confirm: beds are known to suffer from performance anxiety! 🛏️🔨😅
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Commentary:
Sounds like a singles retreat with extra steps! 🍹🌧️😆
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”
Commentary:
The secret to financial success: become a hermit with narcoleptic tendencies 🏡🛌💰😴
Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.
Commentary:
Sounds like my team and I are in a competition to see who can ruin my mood faster! 🏆🤦♂️😂
Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.
Commentary:
Impressive work flexing those spreadsheet muscles today! 🏋️♂️📊💪 Keep clicking your way to glory!