Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

All these deadlines, but itโ€™s you I want to meet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I lied, thereโ€™s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

FOMO? No, Iโ€™ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,921

Funny Quotes Topics

14,738

Funny Quotes Images

11,921

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My parents didnโ€™t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Making waves on WeChat:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Just landed via TikTok:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Breaking via Slack:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Life's cruel reality: Enjoy that slice of cake now, because it's all downhill from here! ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ˜‚ Embrace the extra pounds like battle scars of a life well-lived! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ˜œ"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,921

Funny Quotes Topics

14,738

Funny Quotes Images

11,921

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I’m not talking to my husband and I donโ€™t think he even knows it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Everyday is leg day when youโ€™re running from your problems.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Why do they have to make things childproof when Iโ€™m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

Iโ€™m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal thatโ€™s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you donโ€™t see that as much anymore.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Telegram:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Pasta is something I donโ€™t think Iโ€™ll ever get tired of.

Trending via Discord:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Maybe your soulmateโ€™s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Making waves on Slack:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Just shared via Threads:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Trending via Threads:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

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