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I didnโ€™t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

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Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

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The sole purpose of your childโ€™s middle name… is so they know when theyโ€™re really in trouble.

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If you know karate, you shouldnโ€™t have to pay for stuff.

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Iโ€™ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

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I donโ€™t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

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Iโ€™m afraid to go to therapy โ€” what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

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I can resist everything except temptation.

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I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

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Some days youโ€™re the bat, some days youโ€™re the ball.

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Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have it all clearly hasn't met me ๐Ÿ˜ Let's aim for a life filled with laughter and pleasure – it's all about that good vibe energy! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ #FunnyQuotes #LifeGoals"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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