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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Just shared via Threads:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Live now on Instagram:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Making waves on Messenger:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Going bananas on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Live now on Threads:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Going viral on Reddit:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

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Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the bittersweet reality of dreaming big and living small! 🏠💭 Who needs walls when you've got imagination, right? 😅💸 #DreamHouseGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on TikTok this month:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

66 shares on Discord this month:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Going viral on Facebook:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Just shared via Messenger:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine being social on social media.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Making waves on Messenger:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

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