79 funny dream quotes - Wordgag

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

May 30, 2026

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

May 30, 2026

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

May 30, 2026

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

May 30, 2026

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

May 30, 2026

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

May 30, 2026

Settling down and getting married so I can finally meet the au pair of my dreams.

May 29, 2026

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

May 29, 2026

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

May 29, 2026

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

May 29, 2026

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

May 29, 2026

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

May 29, 2026

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

May 29, 2026

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

May 29, 2026

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

May 29, 2026

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

May 28, 2026

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

May 28, 2026

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

May 28, 2026

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

May 28, 2026

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

May 28, 2026

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

May 27, 2026

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

May 27, 2026

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

May 27, 2026

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

May 27, 2026

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

May 27, 2026

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

May 26, 2026

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

May 26, 2026

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

May 26, 2026

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

May 26, 2026

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

May 26, 2026

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

May 26, 2026

Wake me up when I’m rich!

May 26, 2026

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

May 26, 2026

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

May 25, 2026

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

May 25, 2026

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

May 25, 2026

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

May 25, 2026

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

May 25, 2026

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

May 24, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

May 24, 2026