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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I wonder whatever happened to the tiny dogs all of those terrible women were carrying around in their purses.

Going bananas on Discord:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Breaking via Slack:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Just landed via Threads:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

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Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of nature's unintentional design flaw 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️ Who knew that such stress-relieving wonders could be tied to the ultimate stress-causing machine? It's like having a reset button right next to a loud alarm clock – nature's sense of humor is truly one of a kind! 😂 #IronyAtItsFinest

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Instagram this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

11 shares on Twitch this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

79 shares on X this month:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

15 shares on Threads this month:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

40 shares on X this month:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Just landed via Threads:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Just landed via X:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The older I get, no.

Trending via Reddit:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Shared recently on Slack:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

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