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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Trending via Slack:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Seen just now on Facebook:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

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Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of nature's unintentional design flaw 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️ Who knew that such stress-relieving wonders could be tied to the ultimate stress-causing machine? It's like having a reset button right next to a loud alarm clock – nature's sense of humor is truly one of a kind! 😂 #IronyAtItsFinest

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

62 shares on X this month:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

14 shares on Discord this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

WhatsApp needs to remove that “this message was deleted” notification. It’s unnecessary drama.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Trending via Pinterest:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Trending via Pinterest:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Breaking via Reddit:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Spotted on TikTok:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Seen just now on X:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

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