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77 Funny away quotes

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

3 months ago

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

3 months ago

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

3 months ago

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

3 months ago

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

3 months ago

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

3 months ago

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

3 months ago

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

3 months ago

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

3 months ago

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

3 months ago

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

3 months ago

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

3 months ago

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

3 months ago

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

3 months ago

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

3 months ago

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

3 months ago

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

3 months ago

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

3 months ago

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

3 months ago

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

3 months ago