Commentary:
That's literally my spirit animal: the disappearing ninja of awkward chats! 🥷😅💨
130 Funny away quotes
People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.
Commentary:
Social distancing: the secret ingredient to people-watching without all that pesky human interaction! 🤔😂🚪🔒
Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.
Commentary:
Laundry is my arch-nemesis; it scares me more than binge-watching horror movies alone 🤦♀️🙈🧺
They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?
Commentary:
Ever tried garlic for breakfast? Guaranteed social distancing 😂🧄🚶♂️
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic 'hide-and-seek' technique: expert at hiding, pro at never seeking! 🕵️♀️🔍😂
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.
Commentary:
That forest better be toddler-proof! 🌲😂🌛
Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.
Commentary:
When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕
The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.
Commentary:
I guess they didn't have "train-ing" for that back then! 🚂😱😂
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.
Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣
A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.
Commentary:
Sounds like she's mastered the art of stealth fitness! 🛌🏃♀️😂