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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Spotted on X:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Going viral on Discord:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

6 months ago

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of love and patience – the parental purging request for your treasure trove of 'memorabilia'! 📦😅 It's like being asked to part with a piece of your historic treasure map that leads to nostalgic treasures, or at least that's what you tell yourself to avoid tossing those beloved junk boxes!"

20, 20 years, asked, away, being, bo, family, house, injustice, junk, parents, procrastination, responsibility, storage, take, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Going viral on YouTube:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Going viral on YouTube:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Live now on Pinterest:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Going viral on Threads:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

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