“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Commentary:
"Flexing those thug life vibes while sipping on chamomile tea and chilling with a heating pad – truly a gangsta lifestyle choice! 💪🍵🔥 Who says you can't be hardcore and cozy at the same time? 😂 #GangstaGoals"

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Commentary:
Well, isn't that the (back)breaking truth! 🙊💃 It seems like miracles happen when it's time for some romantic rendezvous, huh? Who knew that the power of love could heal all aches and pains! 🌟😂 Time to stock up on some romance for your chiropractic needs! 💖💆‍♂️ #LoveConquersBackPain

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Commentary:
"Listen up, you slightly wilted fruit! It's time to hydrate and stand tall like a ripe banana 🍌💦. Let's straighten that back and show the world that you're not slipping away any time soon! 😉"

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, a blast from the past! 🌟🔥 Bringing back the digital nostalgia with a modern twist – "Hot or Not: Social Media Edition" starring your mom's latest casserole and your cousin's 50th cat photo. Facebook, are you up for the challenge? 😉🔥 #RetroTechRevival

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Commentary:
Ah, the blissful ignorance of cookie-induced amnesia – where time melts away like butter on a warm cookie 🍪⏰ Who needs a calendar when you have a steady supply of sweet treats to keep you in a perpetual state of bliss? 😅 #CookieDayDreams

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Commentary:
"Ah, sledding – the exhilarating thrill of zooming down a snowy hill, followed by the not-so-fun cardio workout of trudging back up! ⛄️🛷 Who knew that winter sports came with a built-in leg day? 😅 #SleddingStruggles"

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Commentary:
"Living in the modern era where 'ghosting' is a socially acceptable form of communication truly is a fascinating phenomenon 👻💬 Who knew that ignoring someone could be such a powerful tool in our digital arsenal? 😂 #ConversationsVanishIntoThinAir"

Someone yelled "hey, retard!" and I looked back.

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of mistaken identity – a true 'retardy' situation if you ask me! 🙄😄 Just keep moving forward, and leave the confused 'hey, retard!' shouters in your fabulous dust, darling! 💁🏼‍♂️✨"

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Commentary:
"Well, well, well, would you look at that! 🤷‍♂️ Seems like 'circling back' turned into a full-blown marathon! 🔄🎉 Time really does have a knack for flying faster than our promised follow-ups! ⏰😅 #DelayedResolutions"

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Commentary:
🐎 Hold your horses, folks! This rebel is on a mission to revive the timeless phrase no matter what! 🤣 Who knew bringing back a classic turn of phrase could be so daring and unstoppable? Watch out, world, old idioms are making a major comeback! 🌟 #HoldYourHorsesRevival