108 Funny driving quotes — Wordgag ツ

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

1 month ago1 month ago

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

2 months ago2 months ago

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

2 months ago2 months ago

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

2 months ago2 months ago

I drive like I’m immortal.

2 months ago2 months ago

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

2 months ago2 months ago

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

2 months ago2 months ago

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

2 months ago2 months ago

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

2 months ago2 months ago

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

2 months ago2 months ago

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

2 months ago2 months ago

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

2 months ago2 months ago

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

2 months ago2 months ago

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

2 months ago2 months ago

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

2 months ago2 months ago