79 Funny end quotes

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  7 days ago

  View →: The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.
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  7 days ago

  View →: If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: At the end of the day, the day is going to end.
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  1 month ago

  View →: I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.
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  3 months ago

  View →: In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?
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  4 months ago

  View →: I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?
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  4 months ago

  View →: The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.
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  4 months ago

  View →: My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Men need women, women need men. The end.
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  4 months ago

  View →: No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Man, these end times are taking forever.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.
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  4 months ago

  View →: At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.
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  4 months ago

  View →: December. A desperate celebration of an end.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!
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  4 months ago

  View →: Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.
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  4 months ago

  View →: 76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.
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  4 months ago

  View →: How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

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