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71 Funny sure quotes

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

3 months ago

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

3 months ago

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

3 months ago

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

3 months ago

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

3 months ago

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

3 months ago

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

3 months ago

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

3 months ago

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

3 months ago

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

3 months ago

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

3 months ago