128 funny sure quotes - Page 3 - Wordgag

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Apr 1, 2026

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Apr 1, 2026

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Apr 1, 2026

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Apr 1, 2026

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Mar 31, 2026

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Mar 31, 2026

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Mar 31, 2026

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Mar 31, 2026

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Mar 31, 2026

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

Mar 31, 2026

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Mar 31, 2026

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Mar 31, 2026

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Mar 31, 2026

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Mar 31, 2026

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Mar 31, 2026

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Mar 31, 2026

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Mar 30, 2026

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Mar 30, 2026

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Mar 30, 2026

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Mar 30, 2026

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Mar 30, 2026

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Mar 30, 2026

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Mar 30, 2026

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Mar 30, 2026

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Mar 30, 2026

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Mar 29, 2026

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Mar 29, 2026

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Mar 29, 2026

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Mar 29, 2026

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Mar 29, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Mar 29, 2026

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Mar 29, 2026

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Mar 29, 2026

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Mar 29, 2026

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Mar 29, 2026

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Mar 29, 2026