Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Trending via Telegram:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Going viral on Instagram:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Seen just now on X:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it because they’re full of… wisdom? 😂🍑🔮

AI, chatbot, design, every, funny observation, graphic, graphic design, humor, logo, observation, tech, tech humor, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

3 months ago

clean, cleanliness, couch, disgusted, disgusted stare, hate, home, house, humor, i, laziness, messy, messy house, procrastination, relax, stare
The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

1 month ago

answer, cabin, getaway, humor, nature, retreat, woods
Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

1 month ago

carrying, energy, God, humor, i, language, meaning, means, meant, misunderstanding, oh, slang, thought, unc, uncle, uncool, weird, word, word meaning
Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

2 months ago

communication, effort, humor, letter, letters, love, love letter, men, middle, much, nostalgia, reassurance, relationship, send, think, too, used, war, wars
I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

2 months ago

annoyance, before, finished, hate, hope, hot, hot water, humor, i, run, sarcasm, shower, water
If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

2 months ago

came, communication, humor, instructions, irony, men, read, relationship, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

29 shares on X this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

27 shares on Telegram this month:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

46 shares on Threads this month:

The idea of a relationship is so much better than the reality, bruh. I used to be angry at 7 a.m.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

10 shares on X this month:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

32 shares on Discord this month:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Seen just now on X:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Seen just now on X:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Just landed via Instagram:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Trending via TikTok:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨