Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Breaking via Facebook:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Live now on Discord:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Breaking via X:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Live now on YouTube:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Seen just now on Messenger:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Trending via YouTube:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

2 months ago

0

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Girl math is like trying to cut a cake with ten thousand spoons 🍰🥄 – talk about an exercise in futility! It's like the universe is playing a cosmic prank on you, leaving you with an arsenal of spoons when all you really wanted was a trusty knife. Oh, what a slice of irony!

absurdity, expectations, girl, girl math, humor, irony, knife, math, need, simplicity, spoons

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

0

2 months ago

animal, attitude, bastards, bet, butterfly, comedy, humor, insect, irony, nature, nice, real, sarcasm, surprise
Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

0

2 months ago

beauty, compliment, flowers, humor, looking, love, maybe, nature, outdoors, playful, positivity, too, trees
The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

0

2 months ago

asking, conversation, day, hairdresser, humor, i, me, plans, salon, special, special plans
I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

0

1 month ago

am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn
That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

0

2 months ago

again, crazy, hear, me, moment, never, person, realization, realize
If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

0

2 months ago

ambulance, call, funny situation, humor, just, kid, kids, parenting, pass, pass out, situation, trampoline, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

90 shares on Discord this month:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

100 shares on Slack this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Just landed via Instagram:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Just shared via X:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Just shared via Threads:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Making waves on Discord:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Just landed via TikTok:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

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