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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

3,942

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Making waves on WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Just shared via Reddit:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Making waves on Twitch:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
🤔😆 Navigating this is like handling a live grenade that needs a hug! 💥👐

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

1 month ago

cause, happiness, humor, irony, whenever, wherever
The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

1 month ago

exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, last, money, month, procrastination, running, spending
When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

1 month ago

argue, argument, believe, competition, correctness, grammar, humor, i, online, people, spelling, spells
Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

1 month ago

America, comedy, fast, fast food, food, furious, humor, movie, wordplay
A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

1 month ago

happiness, humor, late, late person, later, meeting, never, person, punctuality
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

1 month ago

celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Breaking via Instagram:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Just landed via Messenger:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

May the algorithms be with you.

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

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Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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