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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,755

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Just shared via TikTok:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Live now on WeChat:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

1 month ago

Witty quote about a rambling student essay, humorously suggesting no AI involvement.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That essay is a wild ride through the land of confusion, powered by 100% human creativity! 🎢🤪📝

AI, bless, blessing, chance, confused, confusion, essay, God, humor, rambling, student, used, writing, zero

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39 shares on WeChat this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

Seen just now on Threads:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Trending via Instagram:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Just landed via Discord:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Just shared via Instagram:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

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God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

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