Commentary:
Brain cells for the win! 🧠🎉 #SmartCookie
163 Funny used quotes
Everything used to be 20 dollars, and now that I finally have 20 dollars, everything is now 200 dollars.
Commentary:
When inflation did a 10x level-up and left my wallet stuck in the 90s 😂💸
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.
Commentary:
Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔
My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.
Commentary:
So your husband cracked the mysterious 'sock code'? Next he'll invent the wheel! 🧦🔄😂
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
Commentary:
😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?
Commentary:
Trying to remember phone numbers now feels like trying to download a huge app on a phone with zero storage space 😂📞📱
We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.
Commentary:
This brings back memories of mastering the fine art of clandestine paper-folding 😎🕵️♀️📄✍️
My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.
Commentary:
I used to win every game of "blow-the-fan-away" with my expert robot voice skills! 🤖🌀😂
They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.
Commentary:
Looks like the yard's out of milkshake flavor! 🍦🚫🌿
No substance I ever used was abused. It was loved.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep your vices happy—just call it a complicated relationship!