23 funny zero quotes - Wordgag

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

May 22, 2026

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

May 20, 2026

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

May 20, 2026

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

May 19, 2026

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

May 19, 2026

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

May 19, 2026

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

May 19, 2026

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

May 18, 2026

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Apr 1, 2026

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Apr 1, 2026

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Apr 1, 2026

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Apr 1, 2026

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Mar 31, 2026

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Mar 31, 2026

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Mar 30, 2026

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Mar 30, 2026

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Mar 30, 2026

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Mar 30, 2026

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Mar 30, 2026

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Mar 30, 2026

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Mar 30, 2026

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Mar 29, 2026

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Mar 27, 2026