Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Just landed via Reddit:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Spotted on Reddit:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Trending via YouTube:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Trending via TikTok:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Breaking via Facebook:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

21 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sending thoughts and elastic waistbands your way! 🙏👖

blues, clothes, humor, me, Monday, Monday blues, pray, prayer, real, real clothes, wear, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

0

2 months ago

accusation, AI, claim, era, false, false claim, getting, humor, misunderstanding, modern, modern era, suspicion, technology, trial, using, version, witch, witch trial
Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

0

1 month ago

bell, couple, couples, day, fight, fun, holiday, humor, oh, relationship, single, watch, yay
“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, asked, ChatGPT, conversation, grok, humor, i, joke, sacrifice, sheep, well, wit
If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

0

2 months ago

communication, fine, humor, relationship, trouble, warning
Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

0

2 months ago

confidence, dominance, eating, front, humor, indoor, indoor plant, joke, nature, plant, plants, playful, quirky, salad
They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

0

2 months ago

act, airport, before, behavior, etiquette, humor, know, people, public, should, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Telegram this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

35 shares on Slack this month:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

27 shares on X this month:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Trending via WhatsApp:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Freshly posted on X:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Spotted on Discord:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Just landed via X:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨