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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has copied:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has viewed:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on WeChat:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Just landed via YouTube:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Reported on X:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Spotted on Pinterest:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Just shared via TikTok:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Breaking via Messenger:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!
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Commentary:
"Having a job is like having a favorite song on repeat…except it's the sound of your alarm clock going off every morning! 🎢😴 #MoreWeekendsPlease"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has viewed:

50 shades of single.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

A gender-neutral equivalent of β€˜sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ά has copied:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Just landed via Discord:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

β€œJust circling back on this.” – β€œTake another lap.”

Live now on Slack:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Live now on Facebook:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Just shared via YouTube:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Just landed via Twitch:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

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