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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

82 Funny cool quotes

Funny cool quotes bring a splash of humor and a dash of style to your day πŸ˜„βœ¨. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or add a witty twist to your conversations, these quotes have you covered. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your social media posts, they’re the ultimate blend of cleverness and charm πŸ˜ŽπŸŽ‰. Dive into a world where humor meets coolness and let the giggles roll! πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I remember sex. That was cool.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Cool times create cool guys.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I used to be cool and now I say things like β€œIt’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

To everyone who wrote β€œstay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

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