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43 Funny cool quotes

New funny cool quotes 👇

  • I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

    Commentary:
    “Guess I’d have to walk the plank of shame, Captain Calm is off-duty! ⚓️😅 #LandlubberLife”

  • Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

    Commentary:
    “Forget soulmates, I’m just looking for source-mates! 📚❤️🤣 #AcademicLove”

  • You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

    Commentary:
    “Beware the liquid eyeliner—it’s like an emotional ninja stealthily waiting for your moment of weakness. Stay calm, stay steady, or you’ll end up with a spider’s web on your eyelids! 😱👁️💧🤣”

  • The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

    Commentary:
    👏👏 The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have felt like a one-man standing ovation auditioning for the role of “Awkward Encourager.” Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and applaud your way through life’s uncertainties! 😄👏

  • The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

    Commentary:
    Well, it sounds like you’re the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss

  • I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic transition from being cool to becoming an expert in complaining about noise levels! 🕺🤐 It’s like a rite of passage into adulting where our ability to enjoy a loud party is overshadowed by our desire for peace and quiet. 🎉🔇 Who knew that one day our idea of fun would involve searching for the elusive “mute” button in real life? 🤪🔊 #AdultingIssues

  • If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

    Commentary:
    🎩✨ “Well, if pulling quarters out of ears isn’t a job qualification, then maybe it’s time to find a workplace with a better sense of magic and wonder! Who wouldn’t want an office where pulling coins out of ears is considered a valuable skill? 🪄💼 #MagicIsTheSkillWeNeed”

  • We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

    Commentary:
    🎮🎂 “Forget about age, we should all be leveling up like video game characters! Imagine proudly announcing you’re a level 80 wizard instead of just saying you’re getting older. I’m getting ready to defeat the final boss of adulthood at level 100!” 🧙‍♂️✨

  • I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of every room-cleaning enthusiast: battling the distractions of cool stuff! Who knew that cleaning could lead to such adventurous discoveries? It’s like a treasure hunt, except the treasure is buried under piles of laundry and old magazines.”

  • To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

    Commentary:
    Uh-oh! Looks like that ship has sailed straight into hot waters! 🔥🚢 Keep the ice packs handy, folks! ❄️😂 #CoolForThought

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