217 funny having quotes - Wordgag

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

May 23, 2026

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

May 23, 2026

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

May 23, 2026

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

May 23, 2026

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

May 23, 2026

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

May 23, 2026

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

May 23, 2026

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

May 23, 2026

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

May 23, 2026

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

May 23, 2026

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

May 23, 2026

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

May 23, 2026

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

May 23, 2026

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

May 23, 2026

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

May 23, 2026

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

May 23, 2026

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

May 23, 2026

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

May 23, 2026

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

May 23, 2026

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

May 23, 2026

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

May 23, 2026

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

May 22, 2026

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

May 22, 2026

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

May 22, 2026

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

May 22, 2026

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

May 22, 2026

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

May 22, 2026

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

May 22, 2026

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

May 22, 2026

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

May 22, 2026

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

May 22, 2026

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

May 22, 2026

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

May 22, 2026

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

May 22, 2026

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

May 22, 2026

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

May 22, 2026

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

May 22, 2026

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

May 22, 2026

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

May 22, 2026

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

May 22, 2026