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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

47 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Trending via Telegram:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Shared recently on Facebook:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Trending via YouTube:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Going viral on Threads:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Just shared via WeChat:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Spotted on X:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Home » Funny Having Quotes

139 Funny having quotes

Funny having quotes 🤔 can be a riot of joy, offering a rollercoaster ride of humor without uttering a single line! 🎢 It’s like having a comedy club in your pocket, where punchlines are optional but laughter is guaranteed. 😂 Dive into the whimsical world of unspoken hilarity, where the giggles are loud, the quotes are silent, and the fun is limitless! Who knew unquotable could be so amusing? 😄

New funny having quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Commentary:
When the therapist in your head charges by the hour, so you schedule sessions during meetings 🤔🧠💸
3 days ago
Share →: Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Commentary:
When you realize their Netflix password was the real prize all along 🎬🔑😆
4 days ago
Share →: My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when knee cracks weren't part of my morning routine! 😂🔋⚡
4 days ago
Share →: Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Commentary:
Ah, the magical land of sleep, where problems get bored and leave! 😴✨😂
4 days ago
Share →: Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Commentary:
When you're crushless, you're one coffee away from inventing a new form of procrastination 🤔💡😂
4 days ago
Share →: Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Commentary:
Just like having a fork in your pocket doesn’t make you a chef! 🍴😂
4 days ago
Share →: Having a job ruined my life.

Commentary:
Jobs: the leading cause of weekend grief. 😅💼📅
4 days ago
Share →: Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Commentary:
When you realize ASAP doesn’t actually mean "As Soon As Panic" 😂🕒💨
6 days ago
Share →: Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Commentary:
Dogs have mastered the ancient art of freeloading, and here we are still paying off student loans! 🐕🍖📚😅
6 days ago
Share →: My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Commentary:
Imagine explaining hot dogs to someone in the Renaissance: "Picture this, a sausage robe for your meat king! 🌭🤔 And what's ketchup? It's…our version of a tomato potion! 🍅🧙‍♂️"

For even more funny having quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny having quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

730 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,892

Funny Quotes Topics

13,871

Funny Quotes Images

10,892

47 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Just landed via Discord:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Seen just now on X:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Reported on Reddit:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Just shared via Twitch:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

Making waves on WeChat:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Reported on Facebook:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Live now on Snapchat:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

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