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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I drive like I’m immortal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Just shared via Slack:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Trending via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Trending via Twitch:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs candlelight and soft music when you can just sprinkle diamonds around for that extra shimmer of romance?"

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

1 month ago
day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed
Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

1 month ago
boundary, care, drawing, era, growth, healthy, healthy boundary, humor, just, people, people pleaser, personal, personal growth, pleaser, politely, recovering, recovery, self, self-care, villain, villain era
I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

1 month ago
born, boy, family, humor, i, identify, identity, packaging
My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

1 month ago
entertainment, humor, Netflix, original, pay, self-awareness, therapist, therapy, watch
Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

1 month ago
after, days, entertainment, home, humor, leisure, love, relax, short-form, short-form video, video, videos, work
Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

1 month ago
anticipation, business, business day, day, delivery, humor, live, me, online, online shopping, procrastination, reason, reason to live, retail, retail therapy, shopping, therapy

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going viral on Twitch:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Seen just now on Threads:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Making waves on WeChat:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Just shared via Threads:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

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Activity Log ✨

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

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Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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