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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Making waves on Twitch:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Trending via Pinterest:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Breaking via TikTok:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Just landed via WeChat:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Going viral on X:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs candlelight and soft music when you can just sprinkle diamonds around for that extra shimmer of romance?"

diamond, humor, idea, love, relationship, romantic, setting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

0

4 months ago

communication, conversation, done, emoji, humor, media, message, nice, only, social, social media, someone, tell, texting, thumbs, thumbs up
Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

0

2 months ago

another, anticipation, daily, daily life, day, humor, life, longing, patience, waiting, wanting, wishing
Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

0

2 months ago

activity, dance, fun, fun activity, humor, learning, less, Macarena, nothing, paid, regret, time, wasted, wasted time
I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

0

2 months ago

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth
My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

0

2 months ago

brain, due, forgetfulness, humor, i, inactivity, login, me, memory, password, remember, technology
“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

0

3 months ago

communication, even, here, humor, introvert, personality, presence, quiet, sarcasm, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

28 shares on X this month:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

93 shares on X this month:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Spotted on Slack:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Making waves on X:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Trending via Reddit:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Spotted on Threads:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Live now on Snapchat:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Live now on Twitch:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Trending via Snapchat:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨