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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Spotted on Threads:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Making waves on Instagram:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Making waves on Discord:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Going viral on Discord:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Just shared via Facebook:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

0
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs candlelight and soft music when you can just sprinkle diamonds around for that extra shimmer of romance?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

27 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

19 shares on WeChat this month:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

87 shares on X this month:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spotted on TikTok:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Just landed via Twitch:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Going viral on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Breaking via TikTok:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

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