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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

43 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Just landed via YouTube:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Making waves on Discord:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Spotted on Messenger:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Going viral on Threads:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Freshly posted on X:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

6 months ago

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of precision in language! 🇩🇪 No more guessing games or passive-aggressive hints for German couples – they just cut straight to the point with a single word. 🥛💔 Next time you forget the milk, just wait for the inevitable "milchwiedervergessendesärger" to come your way! 😂 #LostInTranslation

again, annoyed, arguments, communication, couples, fine, German, humor, just, less, milk, relationships, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

43 minutes ago

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on WeChat:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Just landed via Threads:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Just shared via Discord:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Going viral on Discord:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Making waves on Slack:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

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