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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Live now on Twitch:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Live now on Slack:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Broadcasted on Slack:

They expect me to work at work.

Spotted on Discord:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Trending via WhatsApp:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

2 months ago

0

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic time warp of family vacations – where days feel like minutes until suddenly they start to feel like eons. It's the ultimate test of patience and togetherness, all wrapped up in a sunscreen-scented package. Just remember, every day is a new opportunity for more sunscreen mishaps and memorable family moments!"

anticipation, day, disappointment, expectation, family, fun, humor, time, travel, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, alien, aubrey, Aubrey Plaza, celebrity, comedy, culture, Earth, famous, humor, leave, observation, plaza, pop, pop culture, study, us
“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, conversation, couple, excuse, fighting, food, fry, humor, interrupting, me, moment
My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

0

2 months ago

adventure, confinement, humor, identity, passport, prison, travel
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

6 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

0

2 months ago

day, fake, humble, just, millionaires, parents, say, still, teach, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on WeChat this month:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

47 shares on Discord this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

78 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Freshly posted on Threads:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Just shared via Facebook:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Trending via Telegram:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Breaking via WeChat:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Going viral on Discord:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

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