Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Making waves on Pinterest:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Just landed via WeChat:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

1 month ago

0

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic time warp of family vacations – where days feel like minutes until suddenly they start to feel like eons. It's the ultimate test of patience and togetherness, all wrapped up in a sunscreen-scented package. Just remember, every day is a new opportunity for more sunscreen mishaps and memorable family moments!"

anticipation, day, disappointment, expectation, family, fun, humor, time, travel, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

0

1 month ago

argument, attitude, back, comebacks, conversation, even, humor, i, insult, nice, nothing, promise, remark, sarcasm, say, something, witty, witty remark, worse
I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

0

1 month ago

backwards, chore, dishwasher, feel, feeling, humor, i, just, mundane, mundane task, reverse, sarcasm, something, task
The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

0

2 months ago

appointment, disappointment, ever, expectations, humor, irony, life, time
Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

0

4 weeks ago

hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

0

5 months ago

box, came, electronic, electronics, humor, men, question, still, storage, why
A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, dating app, humor, interaction, introvert, mumble, people, relationships, shy, social, social interaction, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Twitch this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

42 shares on X this month:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

40 shares on Discord this month:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,758

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Just shared via Reddit:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Going viral on Discord:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Shared recently on Discord:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Trending via Facebook:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴