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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going viral on WeChat:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Shared recently on Threads:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Spotted on Threads:

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Trending via Reddit:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Making waves on X:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

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I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a good morning when you can just have a morning, right? I mean, let's be realistic here – who among us can truly claim every morning is a good one? I'll stick to just acknowledging the fact that I'm awake, thank you very much!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

91 shares on Slack this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,030

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Trending via Discord:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Spotted on TikTok:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Just landed via Instagram:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Just landed via Threads:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

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