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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Jan 11, 2026

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Just shared via Pinterest:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Live now on X:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Making waves on TikTok:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

2 months ago

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about ice cold determination! This person has a superpower we never knew we needed – the ability to stare ice cubes into submission.❄️😂 Who needs a microwave when you've got a gaze that's hotter than the sun!🔥😎"

cube, humor, i, ice, ice cube, joke, just, melt, patience, staring, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

2 months ago

better, humor, i, making, me, resolution, Resolutions, self-improvement, think, time, year’s
Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

2 months ago

bird, flu, health, humor, illness, joke, sarcasm
Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

5 months ago

almost, anything, awkward, awkward moment, barista, coffee, else, humor, i, moment, order, said, stability
I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

2 months ago

breathing, humor, nose, observation, person, shopping, unique, Walmart
This meeting could have been a cake.

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, efficiency, humor, meeting, time, workplace
Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

2 months ago

breakup, divorce, free, humor, joke, level, library, little, putting, relationship, scrapbook, unprecedented, wedding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

56 shares on Slack this month:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Making waves on Telegram:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Seen just now on Instagram:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Going bananas on X:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

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