Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs to abuse substances when you can simply give them all the love and attention they deserve? 🌿💕 It's all about fostering a healthy relationship with your vices, right?"

abuse, addiction, cherish, humor, i, nurture, substance, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

0

2 months ago

back, back pain, funny injury, humor, injury, overwhelming, pain, self-deprecation, sensuality
Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

0

5 months ago

appearance, before, complaining, complaint, grooming, haircut, humor, men, need, ones, people, wait, waiting
Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

0

1 week ago

air, attention, awkward, bashful, blinking, dirt, getting, gun, humor, interaction, shoe, shooting, shy, social, social interaction
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

0

3 weeks ago

adult, am, antidepressant, doing, eating, floss, flossing, going, here, humor, i, idiot, irony, just, laundry, little, responsibility, salad, self-care, taking, teeth, walk, walks, want, whatever
Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

0

2 months ago

ex, humor, life, relationship, ruining, safe, someone
I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

0

2 months ago

air, air fryer, appliance, cooking, discovery, feel, fire, first time, fryer, humor, i, just, kitchen, modern, modern appliance, time, tonight, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

47 shares on X this month:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Making waves on YouTube:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Going viral on Reddit:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Trending via Instagram:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Freshly posted on Slack:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Trending via Instagram:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Making waves on Twitch:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨