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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Whoop there it is! 🎶 Just dropping a beat and some laughs! 😂🎉

always, catchphrase, expression, humor, i, surprise, whoop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

6 days ago

beverage, chocolate, comfort, comfort food, craving, diagnosis, extra, food, got, hot, hot chocolate, humor, just, marshmallow
I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

1 month ago

checkout, checkout line, cool, everyone, front, frustration, hate, humor, i, line, me, shopping
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

6 days ago

adult, am, antidepressant, doing, eating, floss, flossing, going, here, humor, i, idiot, irony, just, laundry, little, responsibility, salad, self-care, taking, teeth, walk, walks, want, whatever
The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

1 month ago

baby, candy, childhood, everyday, everyday humor, humor, irony, opposite, parenting, playful, putting, safety, sunscreen, taking, toddler
Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

2 months ago

brother, died, excuse, fish, friend, friends, grandpa, grandson, humor, i, mother, sister, sorry, today, tragedy, uncle
Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

3 months ago

casual, cheeseburger, craving, day, eating, feels, food, good, good day, humor, snack, today

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Breaking via Facebook:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Just shared via Instagram:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

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I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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