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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Breaking via Telegram:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Broadcasted on X:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Going viral on TikTok:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Going viral on TikTok:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Spotted on Telegram:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Making waves on WeChat:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Going viral on Telegram:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.
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Commentary:
Whoop there it is! 🎶 Just dropping a beat and some laughs! 😂🎉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Just landed via TikTok:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Spotted on Instagram:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Making waves on Discord:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Spreading quickly via X:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Just shared via YouTube:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

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