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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Going viral on Twitch:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Going viral on Twitch:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Making waves on Discord:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Reported on Telegram:

Are you a software update, because not now!

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.
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Commentary:
Oh, the struggle is real! 🤦‍♂️ It's like witnessing a slow-motion train wreck… in the digital age! 🚂💥 Who knew watching someone Google could be such a rollercoaster of emotions?! 🎢😅 #GoogleSearchDrama

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Seen just now on Threads:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Trending via Pinterest:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just shared via TikTok:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

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