Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.
  • At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.
  • My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.
  • Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.
  • Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.
  • My parents think they know me.