Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew driving was the ultimate language lesson? 🚗💬 Just remember, road rage vocabulary count as… 'creative expression', right? 😜🤬"

brain, drive, forget, humor, i, swear, swear word, word, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

1 month ago
break, breaks, give, health, humor, irony, lifespan, smoker, smokers, taken, time
I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

1 month ago
am, compliment, difference, disdain, disinterest, dumb, easier, humor, i, ignorance, irony, life, luck, lucky, much, sarcasm, sarcastic, self-deprecating, simplicity, tell
You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

1 month ago
always, both, kids, know, scissors, where
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

1 month ago
brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time
Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

1 month ago
dip, doing, exercise, funny observation, humor, let, me, observation, Pilates, real, tell, toe, toe dip, woman, women, workout
I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

1 month ago
confidence, humor, joke, lose, lost, relationship, virginity

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Freshly posted on Threads:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Live now on X:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

I need money, not feelings.

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏