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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I would like even faster food.

Breaking via Reddit:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Breaking via TikTok:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Making waves on Instagram:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Spotted on YouTube:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Making waves on Slack:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

0
I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the airport ambience: a delightful blend of jet fuel, baggage carousel chaos, and the symphony of coughing passengers 🛫💨🤧 It’s like a live concert where everyone is a soloist with their own soundtrack of germs! 🎶😷"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I had too much to think last night.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh good. Another day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,512

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Making waves on TikTok:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

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