Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,947

Funny Quotes Topics

14,753

Funny Quotes Images

11,947

4 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Going viral on Slack:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Seen just now on Discord:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Trending via Threads:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Seen just now on X:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

6 months ago

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity of supermarkets to rearrange their aisles without prior notice! How dare they leave us feeling discombobulated and lost in the world of groceries 😱🛒 Next thing you know, they'll be hiding the cookies in the broccoli section just for fun! #SupermarketShenanigans"

aisles, confusion, discombobulated, feel, humor, i, me, shopping, supermarkets, switch, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,947

Funny Quotes Topics

14,753

Funny Quotes Images

11,947

4 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Making waves on X:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Just landed via Twitch:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Making waves on Twitch:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Spotted on Telegram:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Reported on X:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Shared recently on Slack:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

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