Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”