Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Spreading quickly via X:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Just landed via Discord:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Trending via Telegram:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Just landed via Facebook:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

2 weeks ago

Witty text about the irony of falling asleep, capturing a humorous, relatable vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic bedtime betrayal! It's like your body is playing a prank on you, saying 'Gotcha!' just when you thought you were finally going to get some rest. Maybe it's just practicing for its stand-up comedy routine – 'Sleep? Who needs it!' "

bed, body, frustration, humor, just, just kidding, kidding, moment, sleep, sleepy, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

73 shares on Threads this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

61 shares on X this month:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is getting idioter.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Trending via Snapchat:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Freshly posted on X:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Going bananas on Discord:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Spotted on WeChat:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Trending via Instagram:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

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