Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.
  • I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
  • The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.
  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.
  • My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.