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Commentary:
"Offering food to someone and then regretting it is equivalent to bringing a knife to a food fight 🍴😆 Don't worry, next time just conveniently 'forget' to offer, problem solved! #FoodieDilemmas"

acceptance, awkwardness, food, hate, humor, i, offer, situation, social, social situation, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

1 month ago

activity, baby, being, candy, Candy Crush, childhood, crush, excitement, exciting, fun, fun activity, gaming, going, imagine, iPad, months, playing, technology, womb
Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

1 month ago

glasses, humor, money, paid, people, respect, wear
That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

1 month ago

addicted, addiction, feel, feel good, feeling, good, humor, i, me, motivation, positive, positive feeling, self-improvement, think
Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

1 month ago

bad, doing, doing nothing, embarrassing, humor, i, insomnia, irony, nothing, sleep, something
Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

1 month ago

bubble, bubble wrap, excuse, funny moment, humor, late, moment, procrastination, sorry, wrap
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

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Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

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Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Live now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Trending via Snapchat:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

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Activity Log ✨

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

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I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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