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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,494

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

Spotted on Messenger:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Going bananas on X:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Going viral on WeChat:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Just shared via Instagram:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

I hope my email finds you enraged.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your email finally found me… just as I was calming down after the last one! 📧😂🙃"

anger, communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

0

2 months ago

food, fridge, humor, late, light, logic, night, snacking
I hope this email punches you square in the face.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, face, hope, humor, i, punch, sarcasm, square, workplace
With great power comes a huge electric bill.

0

2 months ago

bill, cost, electric, electric bill, electricity, energy, great, huge, humor, joke, power, responsibility
Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, attack, before, drink, drinking, eat, food, health, humor, i, joke, know, liquor, liver, parody, prevention
That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

0

2 months ago

cinema, comedy, film, films, frustration, humor, hurt, myself, others, subtitles, sync, urge
Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

0

2 months ago

actor, actors, chaos, daily, daily life, feel, fresh, humor, humorous, humorous observation, life, observation, people, sitcom, unpaid, unpaid actor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Threads this month:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Going viral on Instagram:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Spotted on YouTube:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Just landed via WeChat:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Going bananas on Twitch:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨