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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Making waves on Reddit:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Spotted on Telegram:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Spotted on Reddit:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Trending via Reddit:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Freshly posted on X:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Making waves on Instagram:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

I hope my email finds you enraged.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Your email finally found me… just as I was calming down after the last one! 📧😂🙃"

anger, communication, email, finds, hope, humor, i, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

0

4 months ago

avoidant, behavior, boy, communication, humor, irony, know, lover, lover boy, man, most, personality, social, social behavior, someone, somewhere, telling
If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

0

2 months ago

am, before, children, emotions, experience, family, human, humor, morning, parenting, Sunday
Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

0

3 months ago

1800s, big, call, end, every, farewell, farewell gesture, gesture, harbor, humor, leaving, meeting, nostalgia, steamship, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, waving, Zoom, Zoom call
Half princess, half menace.

0

2 months ago

contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, everyday, forgetfulness, hand, holding, humor, looking, me, move, phone, relatability, self-deprecating, signature, smartphone, tech
That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

0

2 months ago

communication, conflict, dating, done, every, humor, humor quote, relationship, sarcasm, saving, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Double chins are better than double faces.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

96 shares on X this month:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Making waves on Threads:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The most avoidant man you know is somewhere telling someone he’s a lover boy.

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Half princess, half menace.

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨