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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Making waves on YouTube:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Live now on Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Trending via TikTok:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Spotted on X:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Just shared via Reddit:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

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I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of adulting – where the most strenuous activity can be just existing 😆💁‍♂️ It's like one minute you're fine, the next minute it's like 'Surprise!', now you're a human bobblehead! 🤷‍♀️💥 #AdultingProblems"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Slack this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

41 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

5 folks are currently checking 👀

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Making waves on Reddit:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Going viral on X:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Spotted on Discord:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Seen just now on Threads:

Normalize having a threatening aura, but really just being a sweetheart.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Trending via Threads:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Going viral on Messenger:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

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