Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Online shopping: the ultimate act of self-love wrapped in a package! 🎁💁‍♂️ Who needs a significant other when you can spoil yourself with surprise gifts any time you want? 💳💻 #TreatYourself"

delivery, gift, gift to self, humor, i, joy, love, me, online, online shopping, present, self, self-gift, shopping, shopping joy, surprises, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

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2 months ago

baby, childhood, downhill, humor, i, self-deprecation, ugly, ugly baby
What happened to the art of just liking one person?

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1 month ago

affection, art, commitment, dating, just, liking, love, loyalty, person, relationship
90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

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4 months ago

90, happen, i, never, things, works, worry, worrying
What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

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1 month ago

boot, bootlicker, consequence, fail, humor, irony, justice, karma, punishment, sarcasm, too, understand
Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

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2 months ago

cookie, humor, performance, self-deprecation, tech, tech humor, website
Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

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4 months ago

courtroom, culture, dance, defense, hammer, honor, humor, i, impression, joke, legal, misunderstanding, pop, pop culture, time, under

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

26 shares on Facebook this month:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Just landed via Instagram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Just shared via Telegram:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Making waves on Instagram:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨