Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Seen just now on Slack:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Trending via Facebook:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Spotted on Instagram:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Just shared via X:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Playful quote about online shopping, highlighting the humorous joy of gifting oneself.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Online shopping: the ultimate act of self-love wrapped in a package! 🎁💁‍♂️ Who needs a significant other when you can spoil yourself with surprise gifts any time you want? 💳💻 #TreatYourself"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

39 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Never eat more than you can lift.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

77 shares on Reddit this month:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Dating to marry in a world filled with cheaters, situationships, and hook-up culture.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Just shared via X:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Spotted on Facebook:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴