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When getting ghosted leads to surprise gifts in the mail 😂📦
38 Funny delivery quotes
If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.
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Trying to be the package and delivery all in one go! 📦✈️🤣
Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).
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When you're a master chef in your own kitchen and somehow broke at the same time 🥑💸👩🍳.
The thing I bought on Etsy in 2017 has shipped.
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Is it coming on foot with time travel powers? Waiting for my 2017 self to be surprised! 📦⏳😂
Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.
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Sounds like the kind of hangover that could make coffee delivery seem like an Olympic sport! 🚴♂️🥯☕️
Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.
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When your shopping cart has more commitment issues than your ex! 📦😂📦
Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.
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When your Amazon cart writes checks that the delivery truck can't cash 😂📦✉️
The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.
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When your salad has more frequent flyer miles than you do 🥗💸✈️
A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.
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Boy, time flies when you're having fun! Can't believe I missed my 229th birthday bash. 🎉🧓🗼
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.
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Amazon drivers are basically family at this point! 🚚📦 Knock knock, just checking in on my favorite customers! 😂📞