Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew the mosquitoes were just as desperate as my kids for attention! 🦟😂 Seems like my bedtime becomes a battleground for love and blood-sucking every night! 🛌 #ParentingStruggles"

bed, humor, i, kids, loneliness, me, miss, mosquit, nighttime, options, parenting

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35 shares on Discord this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

15 shares on Threads this month:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

69 shares on X this month:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

36 shares on Threads this month:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

11 shares on X this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Making waves on TikTok:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Live now on Snapchat:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Making waves on TikTok:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨